Creature Feature - The Traffic Crone

What is the Traffic Crone?

Today’s Creature Feature is the poorly Traffic Crone. These diseased wretched that were once like you and I burrow into potholes in the road. They leave their bright orange hats to cover their lair’s entrance. The sad truth is that resident of Ordinary World could meet this pitiful fate as these once human creatures are victims of Crones Disease. Crones Disease is a horribly debilitating condition that results in extreme fluid loss, diarrhoea, withered dehydrated skin and a terrible odour. These irascible folk are wracked with fever, usually skinny and sweaty and blighted with sore skin rashes and blemishes.

What should I do if I meet one?

Traffic Crones wait for people to wander overhead and then claw their way to the surface. Their sole intention is to steal bags and other belongings, in the hope of finding food and medicine. They rely on the element of surprise, taking their victims off guard and snatching at them wildly. The best defence is prevention. So keep an eye out on the roads for their hats, which are a sure sign that a Traffic Crone is about. It is far better to give up a bag or item that you’re willing to sacrifice, should you do stumble into one’s reach. You do not on any terms want to be dragged into their grotto. As of yet there are no reports as to what might happen to you should you be taken underground by these Crones.

It is believed that Crones Disease is not contagious through contact with a Traffic Crone. Crones disease is a lifelong condition that as of yet has no cure. You might be tempted to take pity on these poor things but be careful, your charity may be your undoing. If you see one, drop an apple or pie and run away as fat as you can.